Are There Acceptable Reasons For Divorce?

What are biblical reasons that are acceptable for divorce?  Some may reason that if there is violence in the family it is at least time to move out.  One reason to have a person separate themselves would be when a husband or wife is abusive to their spouse and also to their children.  There is no reason that a person should put up with this.  The first thing might be to move from that location and separate and hope that the abuser gets some counseling and help.  It is not lawful to abuse another person.  Sexual abuse of children is also against the law and should be reason to relocate immediately and the one doing the sexual abusing should be turned into the law.  No one should endure such abuse – God would not look down or think it sin if a person or a spouse’s children are being abused and they are removed from whoever is molesting the child.  They have every legal right to defend their children from this and to protect themselves and their children from this.

Marital infidelity, drug abuse, and non-support are also seriously considered for separating but since we know that God hates divorce, the person or couple should seek marital counseling (Malachi 2:16).  Of these, ongoing sexual immorality, that is divorce, is a biblical reason.  Finding a good Christian counselor is a good first step.  As a former Mental Health Case Manager, I have seen the damage done to women and children – and even some men – and it destroys lives and the ability to trust again.  Some carry lifelong scars from things that occur in homes that are unspeakable.  You can forgive others but you cannot ever undo something that leaves its mark for life.

Divorce and Remarriage

First of all, no matter what view one takes on the issue of divorce, it is important to remember Malachi 2:16: “I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel.” According to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6). God realizes, though, that, since marriages involve two sinful human beings, divorces are going to occur. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcées, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1–4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because such laws were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).

The controversy over whether divorce and remarriage is allowed according to the Bible revolves primarily around Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the only thing in Scripture that possibly gives God’s permission for divorce and remarriage. Many interpreters understand this “exception clause” as referring to “marital unfaithfulness” during the “betrothal” period. In Jewish custom, a man and a woman were considered married even while they were still engaged or “betrothed.” According to this view, immorality during this “betrothal” period would then be the only valid reason for a divorce.

However, the Greek word translated “marital unfaithfulness” is a word which can mean any form of sexual immorality. It can mean fornication, prostitution, adultery, etc. Jesus is possibly saying that divorce is permissible if sexual immorality is committed. Sexual relations are an integral part of the marital bond: “the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). Therefore, any breaking of that bond by sexual relations outside of marriage might be a permissible reason for divorce. If so, Jesus also has remarriage in mind in this passage. The phrase “and marries another” (Matthew 19:9) indicates that divorce and remarriage are allowed in an instance of the exception clause, whatever it is interpreted to be. It is important to note that only the innocent party is allowed to remarry. Although not stated in the text, it would seem the allowance for remarriage after divorce is God’s mercy for the one who was sinned against, not for the one who committed the sexual immorality. There may be instances where the “guilty party” is allowed to remarry, but they are not evident in this text.

Some understand 1 Corinthians 7:15 as another “exception,” allowing remarriage if an unbelieving spouse divorces a believer. However, the context does not mention remarriage but only says a believer is not bound to continue a marriage if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave. Others claim that abuse (spousal or child) is a valid reason for divorce even though it is not listed as such in the Bible. While this may very well be the case, it is never wise to presume upon the Word of God.

Sometimes lost in the debate over the exception clause is the fact that, whatever “marital unfaithfulness” means, it is an allowance for divorce, not a requirement for it. Even when adultery is committed, a couple can, through God’s grace, learn to forgive and begin rebuilding their marriage. God has forgiven us of so much more. Surely we can follow His example and even forgive the sin of adultery (Ephesians 4:32). However, in many instances a spouse is unrepentant and continues in sexual immorality. That is where Matthew 19:9 can possibly be applied. Many also look to quickly remarry after a divorce when God might desire them to remain single. God sometimes calls people to be single so that their attention is not divided (1 Corinthians 7:32–35). Remarriage after a divorce may be an option in some circumstances, but that does not mean it is the only option.

The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should mark a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced and/or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God, even if the divorce and/or remarriage is not covered under the possible exception clause of Matthew 19:9.

Divorce

God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16) and only allows for it in the case of unfaithfulness by one or the other spouse (Matt. 19:9). Even in the case of unfaithfulness, God does not require or desire divorce but merely permits it (Matt 19:7-8). When there has been unfaithfulness or other sins that have torn apart the relationship, it is God’s desire that both partners would repent, forgive one another, and reconcile (Luke 17:3-4, 1 Corinth 7:10-11). Forgiveness is always required, and the failure to forgive is sin (Matt.6:15). It may be difficult to forgive, and it may take a long time, but God always wants us to forgive others. In some marriages, it may be the case that on-going unfaithfulness or abuse prevents reconciliation in the marriage. It is not possible, at least not for the foreseeable future, it is neither wise nor safe for the couple to try to get back together.

In the case of a stubborn, unrepentant attitude on the part of at least one spouse, the other spouse who desires to reconcile is not bound to force their unrepentant partner to stay married to them (1 Corinth. 7:15). God desires forgiveness and reconciliation, such that He would will that two people who have gotten divorced would eventually reconcile and re-unite with their former partner in marriage once again. This would be the ideal outcome for a couple who has divorced. But what if it looks like reconciliation will never happen and one (or both) of the partners wants to get remarried to somebody else? Jesus says:

“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.” (Luke 16:18 ESV)

That means that God does not approve of a divorced person getting remarried. As long as there remains the possibility of reconciliation and re-unification in marriage, a new marriage to a different person is not permissible. It is sin. The Bible says:

“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.” (1Corinthians 7:10-11 ESV)

If the former spouse dies, then the remaining spouse is free to marry:

“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” (1Corinthians 7:39 ESV)

In the case where a former spouse is still alive, and sinfully marries a different person instead of seeking reconciliation, God would not want that second marriage to end in divorce – even if that spouse who remarried realized that he or she had sinned by marrying instead of seeking reconciliation. The Bible teaches that if a person divorces, remarries with a different person, then that second marriage ends (for whatever reason), then the original spouses can not get back together:

““When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance.” (Deuteronomy 24:1-4 ESV)

Therefore, if the former spouse remarries somebody else, thus cutting off any possibility of being reunited in marriage, then the spouse who held out for remarrying their former spouse is now free to marry someone else

The Holy-spirit Godhead

The Holy Spirit is the most misunderstood member of the Godhead. It is easy enough, I suppose, to understand the work of God the Father. He is the Architect behind everything. The role of God the Son is at the heart of much of our worship. But what about the Holy Spirit? There is a lot of misunderstanding about the work of the Holy Spirit and He has been said and claimed to say and do things that I really doubt He said and did. If I get upset when people falsely say I do things, then I’m sure the Holy Spirit gets angry when people claim He said or did things that He, in fact, did not say or do.

A Japanese convert was struggling to grasp Christian theology. “Honorable Father, very good,” he told the missionary. “Honorable Son, very good. Honorable Bird, I do not understand at all.”

Positions on the Holy Spirit have been at two extremes. Far too many people claim the Holy Spirit did this or said that and they have the Holy Spirit practically telling them everything to do during their entire day. Well, the Holy Spirit never acted that way and there is no New Testament verse that tells us that the Holy Spirit will act that way until Jesus comes again. So, if there is any subject where we need to limit our understanding to just what the Bible teaches, it is on the theme of the Holy Spirit.

The other extreme which we do not see very much any more is the position that the Holy Spirit is not a member of the Godhead. There were some who claimed to be Christians in the early centuries of the church, primarily in the 4th century, who denied that the Spirit was a member of the Godhead. They were called “pneumatomachi.” They were not a very long-lived sect but there are still some people who even now do not accept the deity of the Holy Spirit. They believe the references to the “Spirit” were simply references to the personality of God, like you might talk about Paul’s (my) spirit.

Let’s begin by examining His nature; that is: Is the Holy Spirit a member of the “Godhead?”

THE HOLY SPIRIT IS DIVINE:

The deity of the Holy Spirit is revealed to us in the Word of God through several different ways:

#1 – He is given the same names / designations as Deity. Let’s read together Acts 5:3-4 and observe that the Holy Spirit is used here in synonymous terms as “God.”

In a similar way, the “Spirit” is used parallel with “Lord” in 1 Cor. 12:4-6. In the Old Testament, the word “Lord” was used to refer to Jehovah God. It is very often used to refer to Jesus in the New Testament. Here in this text, it is used with both “God” and “Spirit” as parallels.

#2 – The Holy Spirit is said to possess the same characteristics of Deity. For example, in Romans 8 (the longest discussion of the Holy Spirit in the New Testament), Paul says it is the Spirit who gives life: 8:2. The Holy Spirit gives holiness, Ephesians 4:30. He is described as the “eternal” Spirit in Hebrews 9:14.

#3 – Finally, the Holy Spirit is said to perform actions that only a Divine Person could do. I’m going to come back to His work in creation (tomorrow) and His work in recreation (Wednesday). Here, I point out that it was the Holy Spirit who was working through Jesus and through the apostles to perform miracles.

Relative to the work of Jesus and the work of the apostle Paul:

1.   No one can do miracles unless God is with him (through the Holy Spirit).

2.   Jesus & Paul both did miracles.

3.   Therefore, Jesus and Paul both had the approval of God.

 4. The corollary to #3 is that the teaching of both Jesus and Paul had the approval