The Fruit Of The Spirit: Patience

Patience may be the least loved fruit of the Spirit. We continue writing about the fruit of the Spirit this week with a discussion of patience. Maybe it’s too strong to say that it is the least loved fruit. The truth is all of us love to be treated with patience by others. Someone extends patience to me when I am working to correct an unhelpful but ingrained habit. But no matter how much I hope others will put up with me when I try to stop biting my fingernails, smacking my lips, or leave my socks on the living room floor, the shoe is on the other foot when we are called to extend patience toward others. Is there a limit to my patience with another person’s weakness? Should there be?

John Sanderson points out the apostle Peter as an example of one who wants to have a limit put on his patience. In Matthew 18:21-35, we see Peter asking Jesus if seven times is enough patience. If I am late to a doctor’s appointment seven times in a row will I then be denied medical care? Is that okay for the doctor to do? Jesus answers Peter with a parable about a servant who is shown mercy and yet refuses to show mercy to another. Ultimately the unmerciful servant is the one who cuts off the Lord’s patience. In not being willing to show patience, the unmerciful servant becomes what Sanderson might describe as a “practical atheist.”

Sanderson’s book, The Fruit of the Spirit (P&R, 1985), defines patience as: steadfastness in obedience to God despite pressure to deny Him (p. 87). The noxious weed that chokes out the fruit of patience is leaving God out of our thinking. Sanderson goes as far to say that we snub God by ignoring Him. Practically speaking, it makes us atheists. The unmerciful servant was a practical atheist who ignored God and snubbed his master by ignoring the kindness he received from his hand in the forgiveness of his debt. He acts as if there never was a master who was kind to him, so what becomes most important in that moment is the delay, loss, or failure to pay the money that was owed him by the other servant. Our reverence for something like prompt payment, which is a good thing in itself, can become a denial of God when it becomes an ultimate thing in place of Him. We, too, can become practical atheists. We can tend to love promptness more than patience—God’s patience toward us that is reflected in our patience toward others. Strangely enough, our wicked impatience can bring about the prompt judgment of God like we see in the parable.

Patience as described above is not an invitation to be a “practical doormat” to others though. No one would have called that servant a doormat if he had just been patient with his friend who owed him money. He simply would have extended a smaller kindness to him in light of the large kindness he had received from the master. A doormat is a person who overextends their kindness to all until they are unable to meet even their own basic needs. They are unable to draw a proper boundary or to make a sound judgment, which is something else Scripture calls us to do (cf. 1 Corinthians 6:1-8). God calls us to endure hardship and he calls us to be wise.

Of course the question is how do we do this? On the one hand we have Jesus as our example. We can look to situations where Jesus extended patience to others, and situations where Jesus did not allow himself to be a doormat. Ultimately though we know He poured out His kindness to us all the way to death on the cross. So on the other hand, we need to remember that Jesus is no mere example, but united to Him through His death we have the power to extend patience available to us. We have the power to be wise and discern between practical atheism, between practical doormats, and between the fruit of godly patience.